Joining the conversation...

Everyone is suddenly talking about menopause. Well, I thought I'd join the conversation by writing about my perimenopause.

I feel like I must weigh in. Mainly because everything I read, still talks about 'Menopause' and if you wait until then to get help, you have waited and suffered for too long. Technically, menopause is when your periods have stopped for 12 months. And at 53 years old, I am still waiting for that event. Perimenopause is the undefined period of time prior to the cessation of your monthly bleeding, the transition time, or in my mind the time when all the changes in your hormone levels start to cause havoc. I am a little gobsmacked that I had not heard of the word until about 18 months ago.

I think there is also a big misconception that all women have hot flushes and start to skip a period of two and this is how we 'know' we are going through menopause. I have never experienced either of these two symptoms.

I did experience a lot of other symptoms though. And these symptoms made me very ill. So I had a lot of visits to doctors. I went to specialists, herbalists, healers, massage therapists and one year I had 28 days off sick from my full-time job. I asked to go part-time because I could not cope and I gave up classroom teaching to run the library because I was so tired; showing up to teach required more energy than I had to give. I also spent a fortune on all of these therapies. The cure was simple and free!

My Perimenopausal Symptoms

When I was about 45 years old I started to get migraines. The first one was so bad I was admitted to hospital and it lasted 10 days. The doctors phoned my parents in the UK because they did not believe me when I said that I had never experienced a migraine as a teenager. The next seven years were plagued by increasingly frequent migraines. I had two a month, roughly, until May 2020. My doctor prescribed me anti depressants and an anti epilepsy drug. I refused both and struggled on with ineffective pain relief. I missed my son's 20th birthday. My family sat in the restaurant whilst I sat on cold concrete outside trying to get some relief. I also semi missed the last Christmas that I saw my parents - pre Covid-19.

My second symptom was gut issues. I had always been a little sensitive, but overnight I couldn't eat onions, cauliflower, any dairy products, apples and apricots. The list was vast. Suddenly, words like "FODMAP diet" became part of my vocab and I had to think about 'loadings'. (I could only have say mushrooms twice a-week.) For nine years I have controlled what I eat, annoyed chefs with special requests and manipulated what my family eats. I truly believed that this was it for life and that I would never enjoy French Onion Soup again.

My third symptom was hair loss. This was probably the most devastating. Handful's of my hair would fall out. I would try and measure it. I tried less washing, shampoos, haircuts and so many different supplements. I was frightened that by the time I reached 55, I would be bald.

My four and final symptom was sleep. Well of course, no sleep. There was a period of around 3 years when I would wake in the middle of the night and then literally be so scared, that I could not rest my head back on the pillow. I would pace and keep myself busy, even washing the floors on my hand and knees at night. I would finally sleep when the birds began the dawn chorus. Two hours late, I would have to be at work.

Of course there was brain fog, sugar lows, anxiety; all of these could be easily blamed on the symptoms that I suffered above.

Many of my symptoms started after the Christchurch earthquakes so many doctors, put them down to a form of stress and trauma. My cortisol levels were affecting my central nervous system...in the end I did do much yoga, I became as yoga instructor!

The 'cure' came by chance. A friend of a friend was visiting from England and said look at this Instagram page. She even took my phone off of me and loaded it on. Two weeks later, we were in lockdown. My hair loss and migraines got worse. So I read everything that Dr Louise Newson had to say. On her website I found podcasts and interviews that dealt specifically with migraines and menopause. I also discovered what I wish could tell all women - watch for your periods changing - not necessarily stopping.

I am very cross that my female doctor never linked the sleep disturbances, the hair loss, the gut issues and the migraines to perimenopause! I was there pretty much every month. No wonder I thought you had to have hot flushes to have arrived at this time of life.

I had even had a Mirena fitted to stop heavy periods...another symptom. Still, not one doctor actually prescribed what I needed after years of visits and much misery. In May 2020, I went to the doctors and asked for Estrogen patches. And by the way, technology has advanced and this is not what your mothers had...

In the last 18 months I have had two migraines and my diet has become increasingly normal. I am delighted with my full head of hair. Life is much much better. I go to bed at night and sleep.

My last weigh-in is to say - do the research, don't be afraid to go to a different doctor and please so not see perimenopause as something 'you must get through!'

Lisa